View Ascrewed
by David Smith
Summary: A slew of View Askew-realted murders seem to be happening, and Cartoon Network's Aqua Teen Hunger Force is on the case.


AUTHOR'S NOTES: Hey, this does feature the View Askew characters, but they aren't the main characters, so if you want something like that, you might nor like this. This is written like an episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force, a show on Cartoon Network about food that fights crime. It takes place in New Jersey, so I made this cross-over...  
  
AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE CHARACTERS:  
Dr. Weird-- He always appears at the beginning with his new creation, and the villain usually come from here.  
Frylock-- A living bag of french fries that can shoot a dangerous lighting bolt from his eyes.  
Master Shake-- A big cup of milkshake that is very arrogant, and very stupid.  
Meatwad-- A shape-shifting meatball that Master Shake hates. Loves to dance.  
  
  
  
INT. SOUTH JERSEY SHORE, DR. WEIRD'S LAB  
  
DR. WEIRD: Look! I have created... my creation!  
  
[DR. WEIRD unveils his creation, a brain in a jar...]  
  
BRAINY: I am Brainy! I will kill all!  
  
[BRAINY shakes around in his jar.]  
  
BRAINY: Let me out of this damn jar!  
  
[JAY & SILENT BOB wake up and walk up to DR. WEIRD.]  
  
DR. WEIRD: Who are you?  
  
JAY: Man, Silent Bob, that was some fuckin' nice shit, but now we don't know where the fuck we are. And who the fuck is this old dude?  
  
[BRAINY eyes SILENT BOB. SILENT BOB taps JAY on the shoulder.]  
  
JAY: What the fuck do you want, Lunchbox?  
  
[SILENT BOB points to BRAINY.]  
  
JAY: Yeah, it's a fuckin' brain in a fuckin' jar. Is that fuckin' Einstein or somethin'?  
  
DR. WEIRD: Get out of my lab!  
  
JAY: Hey, this old fuck is talkin' like fuckin' Dexter's Laboratory n' shit. That show's good as hell.  
  
[BRAINY jumps out of his jar to SILENT BOB. Close on JAY's face looking scared as the scene goes out.]  
  
  
THEME SONG  
  
SCHOOLY D:  
My name is...  
Shake-Sula  
The mike rula  
The old schoola  
You wanna' trip? I'll bring it to ya  
  
Yeah Frylock, and I'm all time funky like a cop  
Meatwad, yer' up next work it out now  
  
Meatwad make the money, see  
Meatwad get the honeys, G  
Drivin' in my car  
Livin' like a star  
Ice on my fingers and my toes and I'm a Taurus  
Uh, Check-Check it  
  
'Cuz we are the Aqua Teens  
Make the homeys say ho and the girlies wanna' scream  
'Cuz we are the Aqua Teens  
Make the homeys say ho and the girlies wanna' scream  
Aqua Teen Hunger Force  
Number One in the hood, G  
  
  
EXT. CARL'S HOUSE--DAY  
  
[SILENT BOB walks up to the house, with an evil look in his eyes. He knocks on the door. CARL opens it.]  
  
CARL: Yeah, whuddya want there?  
  
[Camera pans over to the AQUA TEENS. FRYLOCK & MEATWAD are dancing to MEATWAD's jam box while MASTER SHAKE looks on angry.]  
  
FRYLOCK: Come on, Shake. Dance.  
  
MASTER SHAKE: No. I refuse to make myself look like a fool.  
  
MEATWAD: C'mon, Shake, dance. Everybody likes dancin'.  
  
[CARL screams off camera, and blood splatters the AQUA TEENS.]  
  
FRYLOCK: Uh oh. Looks like Carl died.  
  
MASTER SHAKE: Again?  
  
FRYLOCK: Carl never died before.  
  
MASTER SHAKE: Oh. Well, then maybe I'm thinking about Alan Thicke.  
  
FRYLOCK: Who would kill Carl?  
  
MASTER SHAKE: Who would kill a duck? Who would kill a street? It's all the same! Because people like to watch Must See TV.  
  
FRYLOCK: Well, whoever did it dropped something.  
  
[FRYLOCK goes up to the bloody mess that is CARL and picks up a piece of paper with one of his french fries.]  
  
FRYLOCK: It's a receit.  
  
MASTER SHAKE: Of course it is. A receit for... aprons.  
  
FRYLOCK: No it's not. It's from the Quick Stop.  
  
MASTER SHAKE: So, he was buying aprons at the Quick Stop.  
  
FRYLOCK: No, just some cigarettes.  
  
MASTER SHAKE: Then we're off... to the mall!  
  
SCHOOLY D: Silent Bob is gonna' be at the mall, yeah right...  
  
  
INT. POWERPUFF MALL--DAY  
  
[MASTER SHAKE, FRYLOCK, & MEATWAD enter.]  
  
MEATWAD: Why'd we come to the mall?  
  
MASTER SHAKE: It wasn't my idea.  
  
FRYLOCK: Yes, Shake, it was.  
  
[STEVE-DAVE & WALT walk by.]  
  
STEVE-DAVE: Why the hell did we come to this mall today? It's just a huge waste of space. The only interesting thing here is that giant hole in the shape of a rabbit.  
  
WALT: Tell it, Steve-Dave!  
  
STEVE-DAVE: Let's go to Quick Stop and tell off those clerk losers.  
  
FRYLOCK: Excuse me, sir, but how do you get to the Quick Stop?  
  
STEVE-DAVE: Oh look, Walt, it's the fucking Aqua Teen Hunger Force. The only thing good about your show is that it signals only one hour until Cowboy Bebop.  
  
WALT: Yeah, Cowboy Bebop rules.  
  
STEVE-DAVE: All the rest of the shows on that block blow. Home Movies, I mean, what is that? Why the hell is everyone wearing gym suits? And your show doesn't even make any sense.  
  
FRYLOCK: Well, I don't want to get into an argument about cartoons, so just please tell me where the Quick Stop is.  
  
STEVE-DAVE: Fine, I'll give you directions, you dumbass box of fries...  
  
[FRYLOCK uses his super powers to shock STEVE-DAVE.]  
  
MEATWAD: Alright, do it again!  
  
FRYLOCK: No, Meatwad, we have to find the Quick Stop.  
  
[Elsewhere at the mall, BRODIE is buying some comics.]  
  
BRODIE: These comics are really cheap here... I just hope no one sees me.  
  
[SILENT BOB walks up to BRODIE.]  
  
BRODIE: Man, that seemed almost on cue. So, you gonna' tell everyone I was buying comics at the Powerpuff Mall now?  
  
[SILENT BOB shakes his head.]  
  
BRODIE: Well, of course you won't, you're fucking Silent Bob, right?  
  
[SILENT BOB opens his mouth to reveal BRAINY inside of it.]  
  
BRODIE: Ho-ly shit.  
  
[Cut back to MASTER SHAKE, FRYLOCK, & MEATWAD as BRODIE screams. Blood again splatters the crew.]  
  
MASTER SHAKE: Again? I just got the blood stains out of my cup!  
  
FRYLOCK: Bah. It looks like the murderer has fleed again. Quickly, we must find the Quick Stop.  
  
SCHOOLY D: Man, the Aqua Teens just can't take a break...  
  
  
EXT. QUICK STOP--DAY  
  
[JAY is leaned up against the wall, as usual, however without SILENT BOB by his side. MASTER SHAKE, FRYLOCK, & MEATWAD come up.]  
  
FRYLOCK: Is this the Quick Stop?  
  
JAY: Yeah, you french fried motherfucker, and it looks like someone answered my prayers. I'm too fuckin' hungry.  
  
[JAY takes a french fry out of FRYLOCK and begins to eat it.]  
  
FRYLOCK: Please don't do that.  
  
MASTER SHAKE: Where are the midget aardvarks?  
  
FRYLOCK: What?  
  
MASTER SHAKE: I'm almost sure this case has to do with midget aardvarks.  
  
MEATWAD: I ain't seen no midget aardvarks.  
  
MASTER SHAKE: You won't be seeing anything when I throw you out into the garbage!  
  
MEATWAD: I was just saying...  
  
MASTER SHAKE: You were saying nothing, and it will stay that way!  
  
JAY: Man, this shit is too fuckin' good.  
  
FRYLOCK: Have you heard anything about the murders going around New Jersey.  
  
JAY: Oh shit, there's some murders and fuck? I hope no one fuckin' killed Silent Bob.  
  
FRYLOCK: Who's Silent Bob?  
  
JAY: He's my tubby hetero-life mate. He's a pretty cool fuck, but he doesn't talk much.  
  
FRYLOCK: I see. Do you have any idea where he might be?  
  
JAY: He could be with Holden.  
  
MEATWAD: The maker of Bluntman & Chronic?  
  
MASTER SHAKE: Be quiet, Meatwad!  
  
MEATWAD: I just wanted to ask you a question. Why you always gotta' be so mean to me?  
  
MASTER SHAKE: What do you propose I be to such an idiotic piece of meat like yourself.  
  
JAY: Man, if I had some fuckin' barbecue sauce, this would be too fuckin' nice.  
  
[SILENT BOB walks inside the QUICK STOP.]  
  
JAY: Hey, there's that tubby bitch now!  
  
FRYLOCK: It's Silent Bob! Let's follow him!  
  
[EVERYONE follows SILENT BOB inside.]  
  
  
INT. QUICK STOP--DAY  
  
[DANTE is behind the counter. SILENT BOB walks up to him immediately.]  
  
DANTE: Pack of smokes?  
  
[SILENT BOB shakes his head.]  
  
DANTE: What do you need then?  
  
[SILENT BOB opens his mouth again and shows BRAINY.]  
  
DANTE: What the fuck is that?  
  
JAY: Fuck, Silent Bob, when the fuck did you get that put in you?  
  
FRYLOCK: Silent Bob must be the murderer.  
  
MASTER SHAKE: Are you kidding me? It was obviously the midget aardvarks.  
  
FRYLOCK: No, it's that brain inside of Silent Bob.  
  
MASTER SHAKE: You're wrong.  
  
FRYLOCK: No, you're wrong.  
  
MASTER SHAKE: Don't twist my words around!  
  
[BRAINY jumps out of SILENT BOB's mouth.]  
  
BRAINY: Will you shut up? I just wanted to feat upon human flesh! I didn't want you detectives to follow me and argue about such nonsense! Why can't you let any supernatural villains in New Jersey be? If it's not the Leprechauns, then it's the giant robot rabbits, and if it isn't that, it's the Moth Man! Make it stop!  
  
JAY: That brain just fuckin' talked, yo!  
  
FRYLOCK: I guess we could let you go just this once.  
  
BRAINY: Thank you!  
  
[BRAINY eats DANTE.]  
  
MEATWAD: So now what do we do?  
  
JAY: We throw a big fuckin' party with Jimmy Morrison and the Time, Snoogans!  
  
  
CREDITS  
  
[The show ends with THE ENTIRE CAST at a party with Jimmy Morrison and the Time's "Jungle Love" playing.]  
  
JAY: [As Williams Street logo goes by] Snootch to the Noonch!  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
